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Asexuals Get Advice From Sheogorath

Completely True (read: Completely Fake) Facts about Asexuals and Asexuality.
If you have actual questions about asexuality, please send them to
Is it normal for ace powers to wax and/or wane with the blood moon? My fellow ace friend's wings have disappeared and my telepathy has extended an extra ten-mile radius.

If you live in a particularly harsh climate, yes. Otherwise, it may just be a political dispute.

I saw you answer an ask about what kinds of ace magic their are and was hoping you could give me some sort of guide as to how I know which kind of magic I will have as I am a newly hatched ace and have yet to be paired with my ring or familiar. I suspect I may be of red magic as I am highly feminize, and if so I want to begin fire proofing my small pile of treasure I have already collected. Any help on the matter would be greatly appreciated!

For newly-hatched aces who suspect they are prone to red magic, here are some helpful tips:

  • Drink plenty of water. Sleep on a water bed. Shower daily. Move next to the ocean and befriend a whale.
  • Collect soda cans. They can be recycled for ten cents apiece, and it keeps the earth a little bit cleaner. On that note, cut the plastic circles on six packs to prevent them from choking natural wildlife that encounter them.
  • Scream.
  • Practice with baby steps. Try lighting the mosquitoes that land on you on fire. Then move onto small saplings, and potted plants.
  • Write a contemplative essay on the way that art has progressed throughout the last century. Twelve point Times New Roman Font, and at least five paragraphs (that means topic sentence, 3 substance sentences, and conclusive segway sentence) should suffice. Revise and revisit it in a museum.
  • Throw out your candles. And your oven. And your microwave. And your water heater. They will threaten your territory.
As an asexual I have been attempting to hone my mindreading skills, I tried it on my friend but I accidentally made her head explode. How can I prevent this from happening again?

Well, uh, as we say in the Wood-Delicately-Constructed-To-Look-Like-Stone World: you only get one chance.

I’d recommend never attempting to use your mindreading skills on anyone who is not a licensed professional. And buy your friend an ice cream cone once you’ve finished putting her head back together.

Whoa asexual magic? Tell me more about our powers and how to find out what kind of magic I have please~

-sigh- I’m not sure how many times we’ve said this, but powers vary from person to person depending on which packages they’ve subscribed to.

For example. I am currently subscribed to the ‘sleep in any place and position’ power. I could be subscribed to more, but that is all that I need right now. It is great and I am considering adding on the extension pack - Sleeping on Airplanes.

Hello everyone! I’m here to disrupt your normal schedule of asexual facts to tell you about my gofundme, which is kindly being sponsored by AceMart! Tonight I came out to my parents and they are pretty mad about it, resulting in me going from an uncomfortable situation to an unsafe situation. By donating to me, you can help me become financially independent, and get COOL PRIZES including Ace Earrings, Ace Bracelets, and the fabled Ace Ring itself! 

Someone doesn't believe that I'm aro ace because of the way I act with my best friend. Will this affect my powers?

Not at all. But if they do start affecting your powers, eat them.

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